Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Finger

My cousin had this cool quiz on her blog today. So I stole it. Thanks, cuz!

***You Are the Index Finger***
You are ambitious, driven, and capable.You aren't afraid to take responsibility for your actions - or place the blame on whoever deserves it.You are honest, free thinking, and objective. You see things in your own way - and you aren't afraid to let everyone know about it.
You get along well with: The Thumb
Stay away from: The Ring Finger
What Finger Are You?http://www.blogthings.com/whatfingerareyouquiz/

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Acts of Love

One of the most unselfish, meaningful acts of love I have been privileged to experience comes from my daughter, who's 3.

She has a Pooh Bear that is her dearest, most treasured possession. He sleeps with her, gets dragged around by her, is never far from her side. He is a well-loved bear.

From about six months old, she has slept with him, and the position for her is thumb in the mouth, Bear's paw rubbing against her nose. Every once in a while she will switch paws.

When I have been a good mommy, or just because she feels like sharing, she will climb onto my lap with Bear, take his paw, and tenderly, gently, rub my nose with his paw.

She shares her Bear with me.

How humbling.

I hope that I am always worthy of this precious gift, both the sharing of Bear and my treasured daughter, herself.

Monday, January 21, 2008

7 Things

7 Things You May Not Know About Me

1. I have a 1983 Yamaha Virago, red, that I love to ride

2. I love my job but the ideal one would be one that paid me to read all day long

3. Some day I'd like to go to Ireland and fit in with the other redheads.

4. I'd also like to visit every state.

5. I have knocked Hawaii and Alaska off that list already, thanks to my dad.

6. I love the smell of rain and freshly laundered clothes

7. I believe that angels masquerade as people all the time. We just have to notice and appreciate them.

Not part of the list, but one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen was the full moon tonight, shining gorgeously brightly as the snow blasted out of the sky.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

In Response to Tigers

Yesterday, I was in anguish. Today, I have hope, thanks to this beautiful poem by Hafiz sent to me by my dear stepfather. Thanks, Dad.

There Could Be Holy Fallout

We are often in battle.
So often defending every side of the fort,
It may seem, all alone.

Sit down, my dear,
Take a few deep breaths,
Think about a loyal friend.
Where is your music,
Your pet, a brush?

Surely one who has lasted as long as you
Knows some avenue or place inside
That can give a sweet respite.

If you cannot slay your panic,
Then say within
As convincingly as you can,
“It is all God’s will!”

Now pick up your life again.
Let whatever is out there
Come charging in,

Laugh and spit into the air,
There could be holy fallout.

Throw those ladders like tiny match sticks
With “just” phantoms upon them
Who might be trying to scale your heart.

Your love has an eloquent tone.
The sky and I want to hear it.

If you still feel helpless
Give our battle cry again.

Has shouted it a myriad times.

“It is all,
It is all the Beloved’s will!

What is that luminous rain I see
All around you in the future

Sweeping in from the east plain?

It looks like, O it looks like
Holy fallout

Filling your mouth and palms
With Joy!


I read an article today that quotes someone as saying "ginger confers absolute power over tigers." Well, actually, the article says that ginger doesn't do that but that it does many other things.

This tiger concept caught me. How many of you have tigers in your lives? Maybe some of you are lucky enough to have real tigers; I wouldn't mind but I think it's illegal in my part of the country. I see tigers as those problems that really stalk you. They crop up again and again. Fend them off with a chair, calm them with music, vanquish them with a whip, but tigers are hard to kill and they're beautiful so why would you want to?

Tigers? Problems? beautiful? yep, you gotta say they're beautiful because you have to claim them as your own, sooner or later. And if you claim them, eventually you have to do something about them, and those are opportunitites to grow.

Now, growth hurts. Ask any kid having growing pains, or someone growing new skin after being burned. But I think being stagnant is even more painful. Who wants to stay the same your entire life?

The problem comes when you are committed to someone else, and your individual growth causes friction. You're not growing together, you're growing against eaach other. That's a different kind of pain. Your tigers are not the same as the other person's tigers.

Maybe one is black and one is white.

Or maybe just varying shades of orange.

Why struggle with the tigers? Why not embrace them, enjoy their beauty and forever keep them close?

Ah, but tigers are carnivores and you can no more change their nature than you could change their stripes. Their essential nature is to attack, to hunt, to stalk, to kill.

So, I want "absolute power over any tigers." I want to be unstalked, unhunted.

How does this occur?

I think we are talking about peace. Peace in the heart, peace in the mind, peace in the soul.

And so I pray. For peace. Continually. Always.

"Absolute power over any tigers."

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Living the Past

Generally, I live my life in the present. I don't spend a whole lot of time thinking "what if" because it's pointless. And I believe that God has a purpose for all of us, and a plan. But....

I had a friend in high school named Tony Harrison. In our theatre world (Yep, I was a thespian), he was my big brother. And since we both had flaming red hair, he really could have been my big brother. Lucky he wasn't, though, because I loved him. Oh, my goodness, how I loved him. He was such a deep person, he had these thoughts and ideas that I had never encountered before. Unfortunately, along with that came demons of the mind I'd never encountered before either. Without getting too much into a story that no one really wants to hear, his demons got him. He tried to change his name to Beau Bronwyn and pretend he'd never met me or any of his other friends. Being a caring friend, I tracked him down at his new job and told him how insane that was, which of course he didn't take too well.

And then, he fell off the face of the earth. Literally. He told his parents he was joining some cult, I think, and took off and no one has heard from him since. Not his family, not his grandparents (whom he adored, and the relationship was mutual) and certainly not his friends. Now, I dream about him every now and then, and in my dreams I'm always so overjoyed to find him, and heartbroken when I wake up and find out it was just a dream. Again. I just want to know what happened to him, even if he's gone from this world. There must be a reason I can't get him out of my head. Maybe I'm supposed to help him. I don't know. But I need to find him.

He has failed to resurface on any website I can find. I've searched MySpace, Classmates.com, tried to search death records, etc. Now, I'm reaching out to anyone who can help me find him. Here is what I know:

Anthony Wayne Harrison
went to Cherry Creek High School
DOB 05/16/75
about 5'7" or so
may have changed name to Beau Bronwyn
last known to live in the Englewood, CO area

If you know this person, or know how to search and find him, please help me. I'll post a picture of him as soon as I figure out my scanner.