Saturday, December 29, 2007

My First Meme

So, new at this, if I do it wrong I'm trusting Mary Dawn to tell me...
But I'm not tagging 12 people. I'll tag Cathi, whose blog I've been faithfully reading for years. Hopefully she won't hate me forever for doing so.

Loves to chat. --yep
Loves those who loves them. --definitely
Loves to take things at the center. --huh? What does that mean?
Inner and physical beauty. --wow, thanks!
Lies but doesn’t pretend. --what? Don't know what that means either
Gets angry often. --unfortunately but I'm working on it
Treats friends importantly. Yes.
Always making friends. --not so much
Easily hurt but recovers easily.--Maybe
Daydreamer. --Yes
Opinionated. YES
Does not care of what others think. I care...but less and less the older I get
Emotional. I can be
Decisive. YES!
Strong clairvoyance. Yes
Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Absolutely!
Touchy and easily jealous. I hope not. I'm not a jealous person
Concerned. About what? Usually concerned about what concerns me
Loves outdoors. Yep!
Just and fair. I hope so!
Spendthrift. Not lately...
Easily influenced. Depends on the situation
Easily loses confidence.--No
Loves children. Yes.

1. Mention the person who tagged you and create a link back to them.
2. Copy-paste the traits for all the twelve months (see below).
3. Pick your month of birth (see below).
4. Highlight the traits that apply to you.
5. Tag 12 people and let them know by visiting their blogs and leaving a comment for them.
6. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve done it!

All Months:
JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.
FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.
APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.
MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.
JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.
SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.
OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.
DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

My Christmas Prayer

This is my Christmas Prayer, dedicated to all:

For the weary at heart, I wish for you hope;

For the suicidaln and despondent, I wish for you clarity of sight, that you may see beyond dark despair into the light of a new day;

For those dealing with mental illness, I wish for you comfort and understanding;

For those struggling with drug and/or alcohol addiction, I wish for you freedom from your demons;

For those far from family, I wish for you good friends and good company;

For those who are blessed enough not to fall into any of the above categories, I wish for you a grateful heart.

For everyone, everywhere, I wish for you peace, love, and happiness. We are blessed with beauty all around us, if we only choose to see it. Find beauty in a child's delight, a co-worker's smile, a passerby's kind deed, the moon shining on and through the snow. Find peace in the joyousness of the season, the quiet wonder of the world becoming reborn along with our Saviour's coming. Find happiness in the sunrise, the sunset, the glorious small details of life on this planet.

Pause with me now, and take a deep breath, and feel the anticipation of the world, the peace His coming brings, and the blessings bestowed on us all: life, love, and the ability to feel gratitude for it all.

Merry Christmas, world. Joyeux Noel. May Peace be with you.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Origin of name

Alegria--Spanish word meaning elation/euphoria

Fury--my husband's nickname for me and my fire department nickname.

Being a redhead, the Fury nickname was probably inevitable.

Alegria--well, it's the name of a Cirque du Soleil show. If you haven't seen a Cirque show, you are truly missing out on one of life's greatest pleasures. I highly recommend seeing one: Ka, in Vegas, if you can get there. And while you're in Vegas, check out O and Mystere too. You won't be sorry.

Elation/euphoria is a highly desirable state of mind, and one that I strive toward. Fury doesn't have to indicate anger. One can have a fury of emotion and not be mad. Just intense.

Yep, that pretty well describes how I try to live my life. Euphoric and happy.

Peace to you in this season of Advent.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Dear .......

Today I happened to look at a slideshow picture of the latest fires in Malibu. The hills were burning. This picture is of the tree we sat under when we discussed the terms of our relationship back then. Do you remember the tree? On the campus of Pepperdine University, with the sea wind blowing in our hair and the sun going down in a ball of fire into the ocean? The short grass was a rough carpet under our feet as we sat on a stone bench and you tried to tell me what you were all about, what defined you as a person, at least at that moment in time.

I was dazzled, by the California air and the beauty of the place, and the beauty of your face and your eyes as we talked for an hour or more. I remember feeling free, light as a bird, like I could fly anywhere as long as it was by your side. The world seemed full of possibilities and I knew that nothing could disturb us; nothing would change how we felt about each other at that precise moment. I thought it would always be you and me, tied inexplicably together, something in our souls merging and joining in friendship and harmony.

We were so young. That night I attended your dance performance. I watched your creations moving along the stage, violets and cyans and brilliant blood reds playing on the dancers’ bodies, in rhythm to the music throbbing throughout the theatre. I watched you at the board, orchestrating, your eyes full of passion for your one and only true love. It was a world for which you were born; the theatre is a world made to be carefully wrought, no mistakes permitted, only beauty and light and drama that gets wrapped up neatly at the end and leaves you to think but with none of the messy aftereffects of real life drama. We both loved it but you were the only one able to live in it.

Now, of course, we are not nearly so close. We move in different orbits, separated by so much time and distance that our previous lives seem like a dream, at least to me. Deep inside me, though, I still long for those days when everything was so complicated on the surface, and now I see that it was so simple. I thought all I had to do was dream big and I would make it to the stars, that nothing would ever change and that friends stayed friends forever and the world turned exactly as I thought it should. How naïve. The world changes by the minute, and we are the casualties.

You still live in my heart. I’ve always known it but stumbling across this picture was like a sucker-punch to the soul. I’d know that tree anywhere, and the setting, and looking at it makes me realize that we are not so very far away from those March days that seemed so full of possibilities. You just knew even then who you were, and I had no idea who I was, and here we are. You still know who you are and I still search for me.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Beauty in unexpected places

Yesterday it snowed most of the day in our neck of the woods. For those who don't know me, I live in the mountains, in one of the most beautiful places on Earth. Anyway, I happened to go to the store last night around 5:30 PM. It was getting dark. The snow clouds; in fact, the snowline, was just to the East of the store, so it wasn't snowing directly on us but it was about a quarter mile away, so the clouds were still above us. But to the the west is Red Hill, and the sun had gone down behind it, still kind of glowing under the lid of clouds. In between the hill and the cloud was the thinnest fingernail moon, silver and shining in quiet glory.

Pretty darn cool. Snow behind me, silver moon going down in front of me. I'm standing there appreciating this in what feels like 0 degree weather, since the wind is blowing like crazy and chilling me to the bone. A sane person would have gone inside. Or maybe the sane person would have done exactly what I did, which was stand there in the middle of the parking lot and marvel that God places such beauty before us, to either appreciate or disregard as we will.

This morning I had to drive to work at 6 AM. The roads were snowpacked and icy, requiring my attention. And as the sky lightened, I was treated to snowy trees, snowy mountains, and snow drifting lazily out of the sky. The view outside my work window was of the ski mountain, draped in the foot of snow that has fallen in the last day or two. The aspen trees were as pretty as any Ansel Adams picture I've seen. Wish I could pull my memory of the gorgeous day dawning, like they do with the Pensieve. Hopefully this blog will suffice.

Beauty is all around us, all the time. Whether we choose to appreciate it or just go about our busy day is up to us. Sure, I could have grumbled about shoveling my friend's rather large driveway. Instead I took the opportunity to listen to quiet Christmas music, be alone with my thoughts, and reflect on the meaning of the season.

Thank you, God, for giving me a grateful heart.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The First Post

I've never blogged before, although I am a pretty opinionated person. I never really felt like my opinions mattered much to the world. But I am in need of an outlet for writing, to feel like I matter in the world, even if it is just to me. I am a mother, a wife, a 911 dispatcher, but first and foremost, I am a woman. I'm a woman trying desperately to hold onto control of my identity, even if I can't control anything else in my life. And so, through this blog, I will try to define my identity and hold it, cherished, in my heart.

Welcome along, anyone who reads this. I hope you find meaning and love in your life.