Friday, October 8, 2010

National Exposure

I'm so incredibly thrilled to report that I will be presenting two (count 'em, TWO) classes at the 2011 Navigator Conference--the National Academies of Emergency Dispatch annual national conference. In Vegas, no less!

That's right, I get to teach classes at a NATIONAL conference!

I am over the moon excited and thrilled!

I have the best job in the world!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

What It Comes Down To

If I needed you, would you come to me?
Would you come to me for to ease my pain?
If you needed me, I would come to you.
I would swim the sea for to ease your pain.
Well the night's forlorn and the morning's born
And the morning's born with the lights of love.
And you'll miss sunrise if you close your eyes,
And that would break my heart in two.

If I needed you, would you come to me?
Would you come to me for to ease my pain?
If you needed me, I would come to you.
I would swim the sea for to ease your pain.
--Don Williams

Friday, May 7, 2010

Bucket List

Subject to revision on a regular basis:

Dance sexy in a slinky dress on a grand piano
Write a book
Reconcile my love for my work with my love for my family
Dance on a mountaintop a la Sound of Music
Present a class at Navigator 2011 at Paris Las Vegas
Dance my brains out at Lady Gaga's concert in Denver
Celebrate 50 years of friendship with Susie and Cathi
Continue to make my parents proud
Continue to live debt-free (excepting the mortgage)
Live my life according to my principles
Get 8 hours of sleep on a regular basis
Find a balance enough to read every day

More as I think of them...

Friday, March 26, 2010


From a website on dream interpretation:

Waterfalls are a beautiful symbol of rebirth--a cleansing and purification, a washing away of the old so that the new may come into being. If you are standing in a waterfall this can symbolize a form of baptism or initiation. Waterfalls are usually very positive dream symbols and can also be associated with starting a new life in some manner.

My own thoughts:
Waterfalls flow strongly forward until they reach the edge, where they throw themselves fearlessly into space. One whole becomes individual water droplets free-falling into the silky, misty air, reflecting rainbows and fractious light. Separate, but together creating a cascade of a new, different whole. Ever changing, always creating a thing of majestic beauty, their destiny shaped by law of gravity they at once defy and obey. Gracing the air and all around them with their presence, they're a privilege to behold...and impossible to hold.

I feel like I've been standing in the waterfall and am ready to emerge, clean and with eyes freshly cleansed, to see what happens next.

Friday, March 5, 2010


The older I get and the more I learn about myself, the more unwilling I am to put myself in a position where I have to lie about how I feel. This seems to me an honoring of myself, to appreciate myself and to trust myself enough to know that if I'm lying about it, then it's not worth the time it takes to do. It's not worth the effort I must put forth to put on a happy face and go forth into whatever it is. To do so is a denial of who I am, and who I am is precious enough to protect against falsehood. After all, our actions speak for who we are.

I want to get up in the morning and have the freedom to say "Today, I do what I want because it is important to me, because it honors my life or that of the people most important to me." I do not want to end the day mourning the loss of precious time to conform to some social obligation or constraint, simply because it is what it is expected of me.

Why wait until I am much older to stand up for myself and refuse to do that which does not bring me joy? Would it not be a better use of time, a better way to honor the God who made me and to cherish those whom I hold most dear, to spend my time with them? Who deserves more of me: those whom I love and who love me? or those who make up the rest of the outer world?

I choose to honor my family. I choose to honor my friends, who love me and support me and cherish me for the unique person I am. I choose to live my own life, instead of the one society says I must. I choose to honor myself. It does not make me feel selfish, it does not make me selfish. When I choose to spend my time with or doing for those whom I love, it is a way of cherishing the gifts I have been given, the treasures of the people in my life.

The rest can just quietly slip away, like the unimportant flotsam it is.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Blessed with Lifelong Friendships

I am not a person who easily makes friends with women. Most people who know me know this. And yet, I have been blessed in this lifetime with not one, but two, lifelong female friends. I am eternally grateful for these friendships and my life has been shaped and made infinitely better because of them.

One is my friend Cathi, whom I met in middle school through the school district's spelling bee. (That's 20 years ago, folks, for those keeping count.) She beat me in the contest, correctly spelling the word "indubitably" which I STILL have to double-check to make sure I get it right when I write it. Being beaten in a contest may seem like a strange way to start a friendship, but in fact that has characterized our friendship from the start. We have never been competitive with each other, and we complement each other very well. She is a wonderful person, very non-judgmental, funny, has a great outlook on life, and has a fashion sense I would kill for. She is very much her own person, and if she worries about what others think of her, she keeps it very close to her vest.

Our friendship has survived long distance (we attended colleges far from each other), deaths of family members, very different political outlooks, and differences of opinion on a variety of things. The beautiful aspect of our friendship is that we are able to celebrate each other's differences, and we rely on each other to provide a different way of thinking. We help each other get out of our heads and into someone else's thoughts, with no judgment passed and no rancor. There are very few people I trust with my deepest, darkest secrets, for fear that they might turn their backs on me. I never worry about that with Cathi, and I hope she knows that I extend her the same honor. I thank her for being in my life, and for being such a treasured part of mine.

As if that weren't enough, I am blessed with Susie.

I met Susie on the first day of kindergarten, when we were both 5 years old. We have been nearly inseparable since. Today, Susie turns 33 years old, and it is a rare thing to have known someone almost their entire life and not be related to them. Susie is gifted with patience, a wicked sense of humor, a gentleness I long to possess, the ability to stand her ground without being confrontational, and a strong commitment to being herself. She is my roller coaster partner, my friend, my confidante. She is the twin I never had. Although I love my husband very much, Susie is my soul mate in the sense that she knows my soul better than I do, knows when to boost me up and when to kick me in the butt and tell me I'm wrong. She truly knows the song in my heart, and sings it back to me when I forget it. I only hope that I am half the friend to her that she is to me.

I have saved cards, and letters, and notes passed in class, from each of these precious people. My life history could not be written without either of them. How incredibly lucky, and blessed, and graced I have been by these two incredible women. In a world where it's easier to leave people when they displease us, where commitment is sometimes a mushy thing, these women teach me every day about what it is to be a friend. I am humbled by, and truly grateful for, their friendship and their trust.

Thank you, Cathi.
Thank you, Susie.

Happy birthday, K.G.F.!

Thank you, God, for the sacred gift of lifelong friendship. I know it is rare, and I am incredibly blessed by these two people in my life.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

New Year, New Thoughts

This is 2010, a new year, and a new decade. These are the promises I make to myself, and by publishing them here, I hope to keep them and be held accountable.

1. Live my family life by the following values:

These values do not include having a spotless house, maintaining grudges, worrying about how much junk is riding around with me in my car, etc. They do encompass what I want in my life and how I want to treat those I love.

I refuse to start a new decade thinking the same thoughts that make me unhappy, doing the same things that make me unhappy, etc. I am in control of my life. I refuse to be a victim of my own negative thoughts.

In 2010 and thereafter, I resolve to banish negative thoughts and the cycle of arguments in which I've been stuck. I refuse to fight the same fights, both in my head and otherwise, that I spent 2009 fighting. No more will I be a prisoner to thoughts that weigh me down and take away from happiness.

What this really comes down to is self-control. If I can control myself at work and put forth a positive attitude there, then why not at home? And if I'm unhappy about things, who in the world is going to fix it if I don't? I'm responsible for my own happiness, no one else is. I've known this for a long time, but now I'm recommitting to taking responsibility and really deciding what I let into my life and what I simply dismiss as something I don't want in my life, in my mind, in my heart, in my soul.

I wish all my friends and family the best in 2010. I love you all more than I can say, and without you I would not be who I am. I hope to make you proud this year, this decade, this lifetime. I hope to be someone I can be proud of.