Crisis of Identity

I feel cheated. I really thought, when I was younger, that I would have all the answers when I grew up. I remember going through a crisis of identity in my mid-20s, and I was so happy when it was over. It was one of the worst times in my life. I didn't know who I was or what I stood for.

Now I'm at the beginning of my 30s and I'm having the same problem, and I just don't think it's fair. Shouldn't I know by now who I am? What's important to me? Or is this stuff going to continue to change my whole life! Do I have to go through this every decade? I'm not sure if my family can stand it.

I wish I could just sit down and write a list, and say: This is it. This is me. This is who I am, and if you don't like it, tough. I spend so much time trying to be all things to everyone, and part of me likes that I am versatile like that, but I sometimes feel lost in the middle of that. Especially when what one person wants conflicts with what another person wants, or even with what I want. I have a hard time justifying saying: "This is what I want, and I'm going to do what I want."

Is part of growing up learning to say that? And how do you decide when other people's priorities are more important than your own?